Today, I cry

Sometimes I look at old pictures. Sometimes I listen to songs – you know the kind, the ones that “take you back.” Sometimes I grab a pint of ice cream and a box of Kleenex and put on the saddest movie in my chick flick collection. Sometimes, like today, I dig through articles and watch videos honoring men who died too soon.

Because sometimes I just need to cry.

Sometimes they keep me up at night – spiraling memories and should-have-beens. Sometimes I shut them out, tuck them away again on the other side of Sometime, and drift into happier dreams. Sometimes I summon them, to trace the outlines of a friendly smile, an eye roll, an early morning jog, a final salute to a passing hearse.

Because sometimes I’m afraid that if I don’t remember, no one will.

Sometimes I write. Sometimes my pen hovers over blank pages. Sometimes the words flow freely – into a tribute, a memory, the everything and nothing I can give.

But sometimes, it’s never enough.

Sometimes I just need to cry.

This Memorial Day I honor:

Maj Randy Voas, KIA Oct 8, 2010

Capt Ryan Hall, KIA Feb 18, 2012

Lt Col JD Loftis, KIA Feb 25, 2012

And all those who made the ultimate sacrifice

Maybe someday I’ll be able to remember without being sad. Maybe I won’t. But maybe that’s okay.